Part 2: The Struggles When Using a Wheelchair
During my 2 weeks using a wheelchair I received some negative judgement and I had to adapt to a few things we take for granted. Therefore, I thought it was important that I expressed to you my experience.
An Explanation
As I mentioned in my last post this is in no way comparable to people who have to use a wheelchair on a daily basis I am just simply talking about my experience and how it has changed my views on a lot of things.
First things first you don't realise until you are put in that situation just how hard it is to use a wheelchair. All the things you have learnt to do suddenly become very challenging and you have to find ways around them. I was fortunate that I didn't have to use a wheelchair all of the time We only used it when I was out in public for the first week after my operation and when I needed to walk fairly long distances I wasn't yet capable of doing with crutches.
Using The Bathroom
Going to the toilet for starters was quite hard. It's something simple that you won't pick up on when you can walk however, when I used the disabled bathroom on many occasions I found it actually quite hard to get into the cubicle. This was simply because the door was too heavy. I don't know how you go about doing it when you're on your own but when I needed to go my parents would wheel me in and I'd have to knock for them to let me out. It's funny disabled toilets are designed to help people who have disabilities however it's incredibly difficult to get in not only with a wheelchair but when you're on crutches too which I also had difficulties with many times.
Crossing The Road
The next thing is crossing the road. In London you get to that point where you have no idea if a car or vehicle is going to continue or start driving when your crossing the road. You have to time it so carefully you can't just do what many people do and try and cross the road when the lights are red for pedestrians, even if it's clear. You have to ensure that there is enough time and as soon as that light turns green you have to go. There have been moments when we'd cross and I'd be sat there thinking I have no control over what happens to me if a car comes there's nothing I can do. I can't run out of the way and I'm not in control of my wheelchair. So this definitely was a prime example of how vulnerable I felt.
One of the other things I struggled with were the roads. A lot of areas both in London and in Oxford (where I live) aren't safe or aren't designed for wheelchair users. For example, many curbs don't slope to allow you to cross the road. Or when we went to the London Rose Gardens some of the paths there were really difficult to go over due to it being a grass or rocky terrain not suitable for wheels. This of course can be very frustrating as you have to find alternative routes around things which can often take you completely out of your way.
Judgement
Alongside all of that the worst thing above all were the people. I didn't realise until now how many people stare at you when you're in a wheelchair. I know I overthink things a lot but this time I believe what I saw was true. I would have people glaring at me, whispering to their friends and quite frankly it both horrified me and saddened me to think that people could be so horrible and inconsiderate.
It may sound dramatised but when I was in the wheelchair I really didn't feel myself. I felt small, vulnerable but mostly embarrassed. And that was the worst thing that came from it all that I ultimately felt embarrassed to be in a wheelchair. And that still makes me feel so guilty to this day. I shouldn't have to feel that way as it wasn't my fault I just simply had no choice but to use it.
Time For A Reflection
I've reflected a lot on my time using a wheelchair and this post suggests that it is horrible using it. However, this is not true, there are also many positives that have come from it. For instance now I have an understanding on how to plan events (my desired job) around people with disability troubles. And example of this is that I now know what speed to push a wheelchair without making the person terrified or babied. Or to make sure signage is placed at a height that everyone can see regardless of their mobility levels. But most importantly to communicate if i'm going to do something unexpected.
To conclude, I now can start to understand what it may be like for those who have to use a wheelchair everyday, and how some of the smallest things like going to the toilet or crossing the road we take for granted.
